Awareness

by Diane

When someone genuinely apologises to you, you’re likely to feel a lot more generous towards that person. Your relationship, which may have been on hold or standstill for a while, can resume normally again. Why? Because you feel better knowing that the other person knows he or she has been a pig. It’s this knowledge, or self-awareness that is such an essential ingredient for all relationships and for all of life.

To be self aware is to step outside of yourself and observe yourself and your surroundings from a more objective viewpoint. It means to notice important things that you often fail to notice- that you have just answered your teacher in a rather rude fashion, that your friend is worried about something, or that your parent has had a hard day. With this awareness, you can respond to each situation more appropriately than if you were to continue to go along thinking that your tone towards your teacher was just fine, that your friend is just being quiet, and that your parents are just being their crabby selves.

I think many of us aren’t as aware as we could be. Teenagers by nature tend to be rather self-absorbed. Its easy to fall into the trap of obsessing about how others view you, while ironically behaving rather badly because you’re thinking too much of yourself. It’s not too hard to become more self aware. All you need is a more accurate perspective: That you’re not the centre of the universe. You are the main character in the story of your life, perhaps, but certainly not the only one. Family, friends, books, nature, and the happenings in other countries deserve a great deal of your attention too.

The following steps are some things that helped me become a bit more self-aware.

First, notice that you sometimes fail to notice. This single awareness alone will help you take more careful notice of every situation. We can fail to notice because we’re thinking too much of ourselves. For instance, at times while I was being scolded I would be thinking of how good I was and how wronged and misunderstood I was, the poor child. Because I never thought about things from others’ points of view, I’d fail to notice many warning signs of the situation getting worse. Wrapped up in myself I would give answers that further infuriated those around me. A minor scolding would become major. And it could have been avoided, if I’d paid attention to people instead of lavishing it on myself. I think teenagers by nature are quite self-absorbed. Of course, there are exceptions, but thinking less about ourselves would probably help everyone.

Second, notice expressions, tones, body language, and anything that may look amiss. For instance you would really appreciate it if your brother realized from your expression and manner that you were really stressed about something, and brought you a nice drink wouldn’t you? If he lacked awareness, he might decide to bug you about something you promised him, or sing out loud and off-key. That would certainly make anyone feel worse.

Third, be aware of even those things that may not be readily apparent. For example, let’s say you’re co-organizing a school function, Founders’ Day, with two other councilors. You split up the work, and you go about doing your part. You do your bit diligently. It’s important, however, not to consider the job to be done just because your part is done. This is where awareness comes in. if you’re acutely aware that the function is a collaborative effort, you would realize that its important to check regularly with the other two friends, to make sure all is running smoothly for everyone. Failure to be aware of this may result in mess ups and plenty of stress.